So…we sat there…waiting as you do in the hallways of the hospital. My mother and I passed the time with crosswords and chat and idle observations. “Hmm” I said “What’s with the rubber boots?” She said “What rubber boots?” and I said “Well that woman is the second person I have seen today wearing “serious rubber boots”; sturdy and official looking and with the name HUNTER emblazoned across the front.” We sat silently and watched as this woman passed in front of our hallway chairs. What could this mean? Well, we were there for Mom’s tummy to be drained or stuff to be siphoned off and/or tested and the details surrounding this appointment had been a little vague. My imagination started to work over time and I had in my mind a tiled room with a drain in the center because if you need knee high rubber boots this had to be a “splashy” job. I said “Do you think her feet get wet?” to which we both nervously giggled.
Fast forward, actually make that “slow forward” to the “procedure room” about 2 hours later and the arrival of the rubber booted doctor. “Hello” she said “My name is Dr. Newman” and as she hurried out of the room to get the chart she had forgotten, my Mom said “Hello Newman, it’s nice to meet you”. I started to laugh, she did too. “Newman? Do you not think she deserves the title Doctor? Or, do you think you’re in the middle of a Seinfeld episode??” We were still laughing when she returned.
Dr. Newman was warm and friendly and adept at the small talk we all wanted while she prepared her procedure. I was surreptitiously still looking for the drain and a little worried about the open-toed flip flops I had on and the possible impending ickiness to the feet resting within them. (You see, I am all about appointments and note-taking and keeping it all moving forward and not much for the whole medical/procedural thing; that’s usually my sister’s gig) I couldn’t take it anymore and HAD to ask. “So, Dr., does everyone wear the rubber boots?” She stopped what she was doing, looked up quizzically at me. “We were just wondering and you were the second person today who had them on.” She said “What do you mean?” I said “Well, Mom and I saw you in the hallway with the lab coat and the hard core rubber boots and we were wondering if this was…um… a “splashy” job?” She said ”Actually no. It was raining today and I have been so busy I haven’t had the chance to change into my shoes yet.”
Gotta love Newman. Life sometimes is just like a Seinfeld episode.

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